The World at It's End

Sometime today (or tomorrow depending on hangover recovery) a group of 7-8 bikes will be heading out of S.C. for Arizona. Their path will be marked by fire, recently impregnated women, and crying little kids. Swine flu doesn't have shit on these boys. It'll be some kind of a cross between the bad guys in Mad Max and Harry Potter & his pals on meth. Just watch the news, you'll see just what I'm talking about. You've been warned America, reset your Threat Levels to 11.

Exhibit A

My girl asked me the other day why guys think it's so hot for a chick to ride her own bike. I present this photo as the first piece of evidence. If this doesn't do something for you, you don't have a soul -- or a penis.

Hot Chicks for Jesus

Week 2, enjoy.

Rant Time - Craigslist

Before I launch in to my rant, let me state for the record that I like Craigslist. I've bought and sold several items there, it's free to list items for sale, and it's a great place to look for stuff (especially bikes).

BUT........................

It's the people that post bikes there for sale. Not all of them of course, but the percentage of fucking idiots seems to be on the rise. #1 If you don't have a goddam digital camera to take a picture of the bike you're selling and post it along with your ad, DON'T BOTHER POSTING AT ALL!!!!! I don't give a fuck how good of a deal you think you're offering, if I can't see a couple pics of the bike in the ad I will never contact you about buying it. And don't bother including any lame ass excuses about why you don't have a picture up. If you want to sell a bike for several thousand dollars and you can't buy/borrow a cheap digital camera then fuck off. Stop being so goddam lazy and do it right.

#2 The people who post something about 'best deal on craigslist' or 'must sell today' type shit, and then they post a price that is totally too high. If you really MUST sell today, you better put a dirt cheap price up there, otherwise be prepared to wait. And it's not the 'best' deal on craiglist when you've got your 15 year old four wheeler for sale for $800 when it's worth about $200. This leads right into #3

#3 Do some fucking research!!!! No matter what bike it is, when you go to sell it do a little checking on how much similar bikes are selling for, especially in your area. When I see several late model Sportsters for sale for around $5000, and then along comes Clowny McFuckindumb to post his for $8000 I say well, here's are real dumbass. These are the same guys who then complain to their buddies a week later about how no one has contacted them about buying their bike. Duh!!!!!!! These people are the ones who don't understand the difference between selling a bike and trying to make money off of it. Selling involves putting a realistic market value price on the bike. Making money off of it is taking all the receipts from the adorable little chrome crap you've bolted onto to it, adding that to the price you paid new for the bike and then listing that as the sale price. Not likely to work, Chuckles. Just because you dumped $2000 into chromosexualing up the bike doesn't mean someone else will pay for your mistakes. But hey, good luck. Maybe there is someone out there dumber than you.

That pretty much covers it, I just needed a little vent. As always: Choppers Rule, Baggers are for fags and it's never going to be any different. Later.

See It On Two Wheels

If there's anywhere you've ever wanted to go, and you ride, I strongly recommend seeing it from the seat of a bike. I've been lucky enough to do some traveling by bike and to put it simply, it is the shit.

I've ridden thru narrow passes in the Welsh hills, looked out over the ocean from the coast of Ireland, and rolled thru incredible mountains in Montana & Wyoming. All on two wheels. When I went to New Zealand a couple months ago I thought many times how much better the places we got to see and the roads we traveled would have been on a motorcycle. Even riding in the nearby Appalachian Mountains is great, and infinitely better than doing it in a car. I'm looking to add Spain & Portugal to the list next year, and Baja for the 1000 as soon as I can get my priorities straight. Get on your fuckin' bike and go somewhere!!

Hot Chicks for Jesus

Here's the newest feature on the Bad Monkey Blog. Each Sunday I will post a pic of a hot chick on Jesus' special day, b/c hey, even He can appreciate a great ass. This week's babe is Kayla who was recently on the cover of The Horse. Enjoy.

A Freight Train with No Brakes

What is it about the passage of time? There are days when it seems like quitting time will never come, but then when the evenings or the weekend is at hand it flys by. Only 4.5 weeks until the Smokeout and like the last several years I've got a lot to do before then. First in line is Mike 'Spider Monkey' Stephens FL Shovel. Thankfully, it is very close to being road ready. This bike has had quite a journey back to being a road worthy bike. Dirty Ed, Bacon, and now me have all had a hand in putting this bike back together and fixing the multitude of problems it has. The payoff will be soon when Mike's Shovel is finally the bike he's wanted it to be. I'll post some pics once it's done.

It's really funnier that despite no longer running a full time retail motorcycle shop, I've still got a bunch of stuff to do for the Smokeout. Every year I swear that the next year I won't work under the event deadline, oh well, there's always next year. Either way, the Smokeout is always a great time and often the ONLY time we all get together and have our kind of fun together. I'm proud to see that a lot of the RUBS still don't get what this event is all about. I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to be. Can't fucking wait.

Here's a shot from last year just to get everybody in the mood.......