The Bad Monkey Also Rises........

What's up fuckers? I'm in the final stages of shaking the retail albatross from around my neck and bringing Bad Monkey back to what it's supposed to be.

By relieving myself of the burden of running a storefront, retail business I'll be getting back to doing what I got into this whole thing for in the first place: motherfucking motorcycles. No more baggers, no more chrome bolt-on buffoonery, no more chickenshit punks with crappy XS650s. I'm back to building em the only way I know how: loud, fast, and meant to insult the tender sensibilities of every HOG member on Earth.

Bad Monkey Motorworks will be at the Smoke Out in May in full force and anybody that's got a problem with that can come get it. I'll be posting pics & updates as I get moved into my new shop, I've got some good stuff in the works.

The End of the Road

I'm closing Bad Monkey Motorworks in its current form on December 30th. I will be moving all operations to my home shop, but I will no longer be working on bikes for the general public. I'm going back to only working on what I like, i.e. my own bikes and a few select friends bikes. Otherwise I will be permanently out of the pro mechanic business forever.

It's been an up and down four years running this shop and I appreciate the people who have supported Bad Monkey. Keep it on two wheels motherfuckers.

The Red Right Hand of Doom

Well kids, I've about had it. Running your own shop is great until you have to deal with the public. I've been lucky for the most part in regards to having really good customers who are reasonable in what they want you to do and appreciate good quality work at a fair price.

The problem are some of these total fucks I've been dealing with lately, to whom the word 'reasonable' has no meaning. Some of the ridiculous, and ultimately, meaningless details these shit bags want to obsess over blows my mind. I won't bother with the details, but suffice to say that these types just don't 'get' what motorcycles and owning/riding one is supposed to be about. To these chuckle heads I sincerely say, Fuck You. They are why I won't be doing this job for more than another couple years at most. I'm ready to go back to working on my own stuff and my friends bikes, and everybody else can piss up a rope.


Also, the fuckin' wackos I get calling me on the phone or coming in here wanting to know about getting their Chinese mini bike, moped, scooter, go-cart or whatever fixed are seriously risking their personal health. I work on full size street bikes, and that's it. AND, I don't know or give a fuck about giving you the name or number of someone who does work on that crap. Get a real bike or die.



Alright, that was a good rant. I needed some pressure relief, or BOOM!! It'd be time for a killing spree, and we don't need that. Or do we?



Here's a picture I like. It's a shot Ed took of my bike with the moon rising behind it at Barber Motorsports Park last year during the Vintage Festival.

The Glory Hole

Here's Extreme Francis' new bike. Ed and I went to Baltimore this past weekend and picked it up. Scott McKelvey of Velvet Customs built the bike and it was cool to meet him and check out his shop in a bitchin' old industrial complex near the water.

Bill's planning on making a few changes to the bike when gets back from his latest top secret mission in Oct. It'll be his first suicide shift bike, so hopefully he doesn't laser target a big tree on his first ride. I mean, it would be funny at the time, but not so much in the long term.

More Montana Pics

Yeah, it was a good trip.

Back from Montana

We got back from our Montana trip late Tuesday night. The ride was great and we ended up doing around 1800 miles total. Let me be the first to say that if you haven't ridden through Glacier National Park you are fucking missing out! That place was flat out amazing. The last day of the trip we rode over the Chief Joseph scenic highway in the snow, yeah, the snow!! That was some of the sketchiest riding I've ever done, but once we made it back to Red Lodge in one piece we all felt like we really accomplished something. You know, like NOT dying!! It was pretty hairy. This pic is in the Granite Pass in northern Wyoming right near the Montana border, also a really awesome place to ride a bike through. More pics on the way.

It's Brick's world

This is my English Bulldog, Brick. He's cooler than all of us put together. Sometimes he pisses on stuff he's not supposed to, and sometimes he's very pushy about trying to make love to your leg, but he's still the greatest. Bow Down to the Brick!!!!

Evil Chop Upgrade

I received this custom kicker pedal from Fabricator Kevin last week, and it's so nice it makes the rest of the bike look like crap. My Dad said it's almost too nice to have to put your foot on. The point is that Kevin makes some of the best parts for your bike in the whole fucking world and if you've never used any of his stuff then you're missing out. Plus, he's easily the best looking man in all of Michigan. Check out his stuff at http://www.fabricatorkevin.com/

Another one gone.......

Just finished this bike for another customer. It's been about a year and half project so I'm glad to finally get it done and delivered. The bike came out fine, just not really my style, but it's not my bike so that's OK. But, Jim is a nice guy and was very patient working with me on how he wanted the bike to turn out. Part of the delay was closely related to the amount of 'swap meet' parts he brought me to use on the bike.

A word of advice: If you don't have enough experience to know what parts are good and which are crap, don't buy stuff at the swap meet. Go to your local independent shop and let them help you get the right parts.

The Swedish Chef

The newest customer project here. He brought me the frame, wheels, motor, trans., and forward controls and that's about it. I did the calculations for what length forks I would need and what degree of rake in the trees and, Damn! 14" over stock forks with 7 degrees in the trees to get the trail right. So, 52 degrees overall rake. Yeah, that's a good bit. It's got a nice Swedish chop look to it though, although the back tire is too big to be right on the Swedish style.

BTW, if you need a hand figuring front end length and tree rake this is a great resource: http://www.perseperformance.com/

Hit the 'rake & trail' button at the top and it'll guide you thru the measurements you need to enter for your particular set up to get the proper trail. Stay tuned for progress pics.

A year ago.....

One year ago I got back from a riding trip in the UK and in a month we'll be heading to Montana for another week of riding all over Yellowstone and the surrounding area. When it comes down to it, all this work bullshit is just a means to make money to be able to go and ride motorcycles in places you've never ridden before. Take my advice: Don't put off the trips you really want to take until 'later', because there isn't any guarantee that 'later' will ever come. Get off your ass and go see something you've never seen before. And I mean really see it, not just on fucking TV.

The pic is me, my Pop, and my good friend Mike in Northern England somewhere. The shot doesn't do it justice.

The Black Bastard

I got Andre's KZ out on the interstate a couple of times recently and it runs very well. Plenty of power and louder than a gang of little kids at Chuck E. Cheese. I've got one nagging issue I'm still fighting with, but once it's solved Andre will be out doing stupid stuff on the bike in no time. Check it out.

One more from the Smoke Out

Here's a shot of me and Monica, aka Juggs Judy, on the drag strip after the Roller Derby bout. I know, I look cool as hell, but what can you do? The Roller Derby exhibition was great and they used the spectators as human cushions so the girls wouldn't crash into the drag strip wall.

Monica skates for the Richland County Regulators and their next bouts are Labor Day weekend in Myrtle Beach where they will undoubtedly put a hurtin' on some bitches.

You've been warned

Tommy and Slick hit the road Saturday for the 'Destruction Tour 2008'. They're currently in Jacksonville, FL heading for Miami. After that it's west all the way to San Diego. Homeland Security is currently at threat level: Oh Shit!!

KZ650 is Done

At long last, Andre's KZ chop is on the road. It really came out better than I thought it would and it rides very well. Good power, even with the short pipes and it handles well. This one was a long time coming and I'm glad it's finally done. For a fairly inexpensive bike, there were a lot of challenges in getting it finished, but the end result is worth the work.

Smoke Out 9

So the Smoke Out has come and gone, and what can I say? It was fuckin' great! Despite the 3,000 cops we all had a great time. I ran into Mad Dog on Sat. and he said it's like a family reunion, which is dead on. It's the one time of year that the hardcore elite of the chopper world all come together. It's an event that I'm glad alot of people don't really get. The best bikes, hot chicks, and general rowdiness. Year after year, the only rally I go to and I'll keep going until they put me in the ground. Ed, Jimmy, Bill, Tommy, Newton, Big Mike, Bacon, Skidmark, Katie, Roadside, and everyone else that lent a hand to Bad Monkey this year gets a big thanks.

Here's a shot of Mark with some homemade peach & blackberry 'magic water' that kind of sums up the whole thing. Viva la Smokeout!!!!!

This guy knows what it's about

This is my buddy Dan, better known as Bacon. He's from Canada and he rode the Knuckle chopper in this picture down from Ontario, Canada to North Carolina this past week. One day trip, about 14 hours.

This kid knows what all this shit is supposed to be about, if you run into him at the Smokeout, buy him a Coke and check out his bike. He'll tell you all about it.

It's about fucking time!!!!

Alright, The War Machine is complete and on the road. I've got a few more shakedown miles to put on it, but it's going well. Tommy is taking it to the Smokeout in a couple of weeks and then it's on the road for a trip. It seems ambitious to try and hit every gay bar east of the Mississippi, but if anyone can do it, he can.

Last look before tear down

Andre's bike is ready to go to powdercoat. I fired it up last week and everythings good to go. Also got the seat back from Dan Huffman and it looks great. This bike should be on the road by the end of Feb., and hopefully Andre can at least make it to Smoke Out without crashing it. KZ's Rule!!!

The Evolution of War

Tommy's bike is moving along well. I've got the front & rear fenders trimmed, the oil tank mounted, rear brake control moved from the right side to the left side, clutch control mounted on the Jenghis Chan shifter, etc.

It should be ready to tear down for paint/powdercoat by the end of Feb.