Bad Monkey Motorworks

Business Time

2012-02-10T22:05:00.000-05:00

About the only time wearing a tie is acceptable.

No, I Don't Know How Fast I was Going!

2012-02-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

What do you do with those two nice mounting lugs on your narrowglide top tree? Make a sweet mini speedo mount, that's what. Jimmy's new set up I knocked out last night. I tried to convince him that if you don't have a speedo then at least you can say you didn't know how fast you were going when you get pulled over, but oh well. Jimmy loves abiding by the law, sort of.

Wrench Therapy

2012-02-04T11:38:00.000-05:00

Had a nice late night in the shop getting Jimmy's FXR belt replaced. Alone with the music on and my hands dirty, therapy you can't buy.

So Fucking Money.

2012-02-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

A few days in Vegas last week with my girl and some good friends. My first time there and it was pretty good. Vegas is a unique mix of humanity and for someone like me, it was entertaining to witness the combination of high end glamour mixed with the lowest elements of depravity and everyone in between. It also turns out there are some great outdoor adventures just outside of the city that I never knew about and some really beautiful mountain/high desert areas. Great trip.

It's Far too Cold to Camp Here!

2012-01-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

I was turned on to this documentary several years ago by an Indian customer of mine. Great movie about one man's desire to do something unique and challenge himself. Check it out if you get the chance, very inspiring.

Spring is on the Way

2012-01-24T11:31:00.001-05:00

Two road trips are already tenatively planned and there are projects galore to complete. I'm off to Vegas for a few days and when I get back it's WFO.

One Less Badass in the World

2012-01-16T11:59:00.001-05:00

RIP Hiromi Sakai, who along with Maya Sato, was one of only two female pro Speedway racers in Japan in the last 40 years. 90+ mph with no brakes on pavement, pure balls. She will be missed.

*Hiromi on the left

Dakar Rally 2012

2012-01-10T12:29:00.000-05:00

The World's greatest race is in progress in South America right now. Read up or watch footage of this race and you'll understand how pathetic it is to hear pussy Nascar drivers whine about track conditions or whatever lame crap is twisting their panties that day.

Farewell Ride to the Year

2011-12-31T18:11:00.000-05:00

Took a good 50 mile ride late today to enjoy the warm weather and finish this weird last year the right way. The bike ran great and I got to show a dude on a bagger what reckless endangerment on two wheels is all about. Happy New Year people and many more good miles on the road.

Leaving 2011 Behind

2011-12-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

Get it? Yeah, stupid I know. Ready to close the book on this past year and dive into 2012. Big changes and good things on the way.

Rolling On

2011-12-26T11:56:00.003-05:00

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” C.S. Lewis

This year hasn't been the best ever, but I'm glad to have all of the good greaseball friends I've got and a great family. Things are looking up for 2012 and I'm ready for positive change. More laughs, miles on the road, and grease under my nails.

Grease Monkey Co-Op

2011-12-24T11:50:00.002-05:00

Good afternoon/night in the shop with Bill and Jimmy. We got Bill's Shovel chop back to good health after some electrical trouble and got a good start on installing Jimmy's new Zombie Performance handlebars. (side note: To the idiot that overtightened/stripped the bolts in the hand controls - Fuck You!!)

Always glad to be able to help some of the crew keep their two wheeled addictions at a proper level.

Merry Xmas

2011-12-21T19:11:00.001-05:00

Beats going to church every time.

Driven by the Devil

2011-12-11T17:18:00.004-05:00

883cc to 1200cc, shiny.
Heads cleaned & valves lapped.
Reassembled and ready to go

I'm painting the cylinders black, but it's been too cold to paint here lately so I'm waiting for a warmer day. It's all coming together, slowly but with the determination of something made of pure evil. Merry Christmas!

Wheelie Madness!

2011-12-08T18:09:00.002-05:00

You can ignore the not-so-great music, but these boys have skills for sure.

Just got my pistons and cylinders back from the machinist yesterday, so XL engine build pics coming soon....

I Love Nature

2011-12-02T19:42:00.000-05:00

You never know what you'll stumble across.

Random

2011-12-01T23:00:00.008-05:00

Getting advice on how to model.
Bill and I at Deal's Gap, like a Boss!
The Buell that may never get finished
My Dad, bike blown up outside of Memphis, but still smiling.
Rollin deep to Smokeout in 2010
My KZ1000 in it's former stripped down form. I seriously miss riding this bike when it was like this.
Cool when you find a pic of your bike randomly on the interweb.

Multi-purpose

2011-11-23T17:18:00.002-05:00

Electrical tape, it's not just for bad wiring jobs anymore.

Actual Motorcycle Content

2011-11-21T21:18:00.004-05:00

Finally got a few bucks up from the swap meet to get the Slingshot's cylinders bored. Tore the top end off this evening and the parts go to the machine shop tomorrow. Thanks again to Lil Chopper for the bitchin points cover.

Only in Jersey

2011-11-17T22:10:00.002-05:00

Pimp Claus.

Bang Bang

2011-11-15T23:30:00.003-05:00

Sent to me by my buddy Don. For all you bony-assed, so-called 'High Fashion' models: This is what a woman looks like. With a body like a shotgun going off. Three cheers for all the soft, curvy beauties out there that make you glad to be alive.

Swap Meet Shenanigans

2011-11-13T21:34:00.005-05:00

After a brief absence, the Uncles of Sarcasm returned to the Charlotte Swap Meet. Good laughs were had and parts were sold. And I got to make fun of baggers and their misguided riders quite a bit.
The view from our freebie extra spot across the aisle
Ed reppin' the old school AMI shirt, with Officer Kevin and Big Mike

How to Spot Uncle Creepy

2011-10-23T20:05:00.003-04:00

When a van has "Caution Transporting Children" on the back AND the windows are covered with newspapers, maybe something isn't quite kosher. And before you ask, this is a real picture taken by someone I trust, not some internet gag. Hey kids!! Who wants a balloon animal???

RIP Marco Simoncelli

2011-10-23T12:06:00.002-04:00

Just read this morning that Marco was killed in a crash early in the MotoGP race in Malaysia. These guys have the heart and the courage to ride the most powerful motorcycles in the world and race at the very limits of man and machine. Sad to lose a young racer at only 24 years old, but I'm still inspired by anyone willing to put it all on the line for the thrill of competition and the glory of winning.

Angry Hornets

2011-10-07T18:05:00.004-04:00

The sound that scares old ladies and thrills young ones.

I cleaned the end cap on the muffler. There's something good about a nice piece of hand polished aluminum, its got soul.

It's Friday, No Reason Not To Smile

2011-10-07T18:03:00.001-04:00

Of course, when you're unemployed every day is Sunday, but I digress.....

Real Performance Art

2011-10-04T16:16:00.006-04:00

No, not the performance 'art' put on by some hipster asshole standing on a stage and ranting about the gov't while beating on a garbage can lid. I mean the kind that propels you down the road at speeds three times faster than good sense would dictate. A very wise and capable man from Detroit once said that form follows function. For those of us passionate and foolish enough to try to build a motorcycle that you can't buy in a dealership, the real challenge is making form follow function without it seeming like an afterthought.

My long running Sportster project is an immediate example of this challenge. I started with a certain vision for the bike, and despite refining this idea over time, I've always had a focused image of a stripped down, sharp handling, fire breathing XL as the final goal. I'm light years from a high end bike builder, but I like to think I know when a bike looks right. The mechanical part of bike building is easy for me. It's the aesthetic aspect that remains the challenge. I keep chasing that vision and it's what keeps me excited to keep building bikes. It's the addiction that doesn't need a cure.

Man & Nature vs. Other Nature

2011-09-27T18:03:00.002-04:00

I can't remember if I've posted this before, but it's worth it either way. Mongolian horsemen engaged in the ancient art of hunting wolves with golden eagles. The dedication it takes from these men to catch these birds and train them to hunt with their human master is awesome. If you thought there was no such thing as a badass bird, watch these giant eagles do their work.

A hundred times more real than a drunk redneck sitting in his pickup on the side of the road waiting for his dogs to chase a deer close enough to shoot at it with a shotgun.

Family Reunion III

2011-09-25T21:50:00.003-04:00

FM3 is over and it was kick ass. Despite the weatherman's best efforts, we didn't get wet. In fact, the weather in the mountains was as close to perfect as you could ask for and we had an awesome day riding. Deal's Gap and the Cherohola Skyway were both great with nice clean runs on both of them with very little car or bagger traffic to get in the way.

Just as significantly, Jimmy took his first road trip since his wreck and other than a late start on Saturday he represented fully on his FXR. Along with the sweet riding, we mixed in a healthy dose of drunk/stoned Germans, hill people, and ruthless joke cracking. For the record, we got it on good authority that Hasslehoff is NOT a big star in Germany, despite what you may have heard. Thanks to Mo at the Kickstand Lodge for allowing us to camp there again this year and for being cool in general. Bottom line: Smokey Mountain riding rules.

Hey Hey

2011-09-17T20:47:00.001-04:00

The current Horse cover girl.

Harvest Moon

2011-09-13T12:35:00.003-04:00

The picture sucks, but the moon was out in impressive fashion last night. Clear sky, nice and cool and the moon fat and low. Great night to hang out on the deck with the pups and enjoy life.

The Backside of Beyond

2011-09-10T22:59:00.003-04:00

I know sitting down and talking to a head shrinker helps some people to feel better, but for me it's all about two wheeled therapy. Admittedly, it doesn't give me a chance to talk about what that clown did to me at the mall when I was a kid, but fuck it. 100+ miles this evening in the backwoods cures a lot of ailments.

Free Advice

2011-09-04T22:37:00.001-04:00

Whether you like the show or not, this is a solid bit of advice.

The Return of Jimmy

2011-09-01T20:13:00.003-04:00

After almost 3 years, Jimmy got back on a bike today. I could say an awful lot about the rough road he's taken to get on two wheels again, but I'll let the video speak for itself. It's good to have you back on the road brother, we've got a lot of miles to make up together.

Into The Great Wide Open

2011-08-31T11:51:00.003-04:00

With the big changes around here lately and the fact that the end to this hell fire hot summer is finally in sight, the urge to hit the road on two wheels again is becoming irresistable. Looking at these pics only makes it worse. Anybody want to house/dog sit for me for a couple months?

What's Real

2011-08-25T20:26:00.003-04:00

By now this photo is already famous all over the world. It captures a scene from the funeral service of Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Jon Tumilson. He was killed in action in Afghanistan in the helicopter crash that killed 22 members of the Navy SEALS recently. His family brought his Lab Hawkeye to the funeral service and when his friend walked to the podium to talk about Jon, his faithful dog followed and laid down next to his casket. I've had dogs all my life and have known firsthand the unparalleled loyalty and love they will give you without asking much in return. More importantly, this animal's display of loyalty for his fallen master should make you think about what's real in this world. I've got no respect whatsoever for anyone that ever put the word "politician" next to their name. The fact remains that whether we are right or wrong in the wars we have waged as a country, good people are lost. I'll trade 100 worthless, self-serving politicians for 1 man like Jon Tumilson who had the heart and the character to risk his own life in support of his country. Keep the good people close to you and remember what matters.

Cell Phones

2011-08-23T19:08:00.002-04:00

I'm generally not a fan of what they've done to our collective common sense, but sometimes they're OK.

In Case You Haven't Heard.....

2011-08-22T22:11:00.002-04:00

To kill a zombie you have to destroy the brain. If I watch one more zombie movie where they spend round after round of ammo pumping shots into the body and then stand there dumbfounded because the zombies keep coming I'm going to puke. I'm watching a French movie right now and it took these frogs waaaaaay too long to figure out the headshot. So, for the last time, destroy the brain and you waste the ghoul. It's that easy.

Scavenger Hunt

2011-08-22T15:40:00.003-04:00

Picked up some choice Sportster parts in the last couple of weeks. It pays to troll Craigslist constantly so you can snatch up good stock take-off parts out there for sale. It's the one upside to the chrome addiction of the typical Harley rider: they end up with a bunch of good parts they have no interest in, but stuff that's valued by the chopper builder. Evo Sportsters 4 Eva.

Two Wheels and a Bunch of Monkeys

2011-08-20T22:35:00.002-04:00

It's been a while, ready to ride somewhere again with the crew. FMF.

Displacement

2011-08-20T22:00:00.004-04:00

Ever feel like you were born in the wrong era? Although the incredible technology we have today has made life easier and more interesting in many ways, it's hard not to look back at simpler times and wonder if life wasn't better back then. Our country is saturated with lawyers, politicians, cops, and other assorted lowlifes. Far too often men make their living these days by avoiding work, seeking to profit from the efforts of others or to find a way to scam money they have no rightful claim to. Others simply feel that the fact that they aren't willing to work entitles them to put their hand out and expect the government to support them. The concept of receiving only that which you have honestly worked for is foreign to far too many Americans.

More to the point, I lament the fact that in the present day it's next to impossible to hold someone personally accountable for their own actions. It's always someone else's fault, or there is a dirtbag lawyer that will do everything possible to alleviate someone from facing the consequences of wrongdoing. As long as he's being paid handsomely of course. Right and wrong for sale. In the same spirit I really, really, really, miss the days when you could straighten some asshole out when necessary. If some guy is causing trouble, it'd be nice to be able to go ahead and tune him up with no real worry about police or lawyers becoming involved. These days far too many chickenshit cowards get away with running their mouths without having to answer for it right then and there. An otherwise good man feels that irritating hesitation to smack some punk in the mouth when he's clearly got it coming, knowing that chances are this idiot will turn around and sue him. The supposed "civilized" nature of our society has turned everyone into pussies, too scared to take action out of fear of persecution by a system that has no business dictating morality to anyone.

The good old days may not have been all good, but they were considerably better than the pathetic mess we've devolved into. There's no real chance of salvation, but at least give yourself the respect to go down swinging.

The Next Last Time

2011-07-26T18:47:00.001-04:00

As much as I love Evo Sportsters is just how much I hate Ironheads. I won't bother with a long explanation of what I don't like about them, but rest assured, I am not a fan.

Alas, the rigors of unemployment led me to respond to a guy's Craigslist ad in search of a mechanic to help him with his. Picked it up and did a decent bit of work to get it tuned up, tightened up, and ready to ride for him. Made a lot of chicken salad on this one, but it turned out to be at least a decent running bike, even it's butt ugly. It's almost done and ready to go back to it's owner, so this is definitely the last one I will ever work on. Probably.

The Greatest Soap Ad of All Time

2011-07-20T22:19:00.003-04:00

Getting clean was never so fantastically dirty. Goddam!

Backroads Rollin

2011-07-17T22:18:00.003-04:00

Pulled Monica's KZ out of the garage and took a nice 100 mile ride out through the farmlands south of the house. Nice weather and smooth riding. For the amount of money we've got into that bike, it's a lot more fun to ride than it should be. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: The late 70's KZ's are the cat's ass when it comes to air cooled inline fours. Fucking love em. I'd like to do a full on 'Mad Max' style bike one day, if I can get all these other projects finished. And get a job. Ha!

For Sale - Mile Muncher

2011-07-16T22:43:00.002-04:00

Selling this bike for my Dad. 1999 Kawasaki Concours ZG1000. Good condition and runs strong. I know it's a long shot for anyone that reads my blog, but it's a good bike for cheap. Much faster & sharper handling than a fat H-D bagger. Blog special price of $2000 with a clear SC title.

Cherry Bomb

2011-07-16T01:23:00.001-04:00

Bike pics on the way, but I don't like to disappoint.

The Sportster Rising

2011-07-07T20:42:00.003-04:00

I stole this pic from The Horse blog, a bike they will be featuring I assume. Aside from the fact that it's sweet as shit, I posted it to illustrate a very positive trend I've observed lately: the return of the Sportster.
Just between the Revenge Run in April and the recent Smoke Out, I have seen more and more guys rolling on Sportys. Not just riding them, but putting their creative efforts into customizing them. Choppers, cafe racers, street trackers, or just trimmed down stockers. The beauty of simplicity and performance exemplified in the Sportster is making it's way back to the prominence it deserves.

You Mean Trashy Can Be Good?

2011-07-01T16:14:00.001-04:00

Goddam right it can be. Exhibit A:

The Face of Evil

2011-07-01T16:07:00.003-04:00

My buddy Lil Chopper presented me with this kick ass points cover for my Sportster street tracker. One more nice detail for a bike that is going to hurt the feelings of every chickenshit bagger owner dumb enough to call it a girl's bike. Thanks again Steve!!

And don't get any bright ideas about stealing that name for your own bike. I came up with it and I will kick 7 colors of shit out of you if you try to use it.

Barbarians at the Gates

2011-06-30T13:05:00.002-04:00

There is no happy ending and the world is not getting better. Keep the good people close to you and enjoy them while you can. Never miss a chance to let the bastards and the idiots know that they will have their way eventually, but they won't get there without a fight. Make a dent in things while you can.

More Smoke Out

2011-06-29T01:29:00.006-04:00

These are in no discernible order, but thanks to Bill for taking most if not all of them. I didn't even take a camera this year.

Chris was keeping this chick warm since she lost her shirt

The fire girls doing their thing.

The Crew.

Roadside, creeping on the ladies. Notice I'm keeping an eye on him.

Mike, definitely not thinking about stealing the bike he's on.

The Amazing Jimmy

The T and the A

Nice sunsets both nights in Rockingham

These two staggered past our tent, the chick was so fucked up that the dude was literally holding her up. Pure class.

Bill actually had sex in this tent, but the other dude cleared out before I could get a picture.

Grade A Man Meat

Smoke Out 12

2011-06-29T00:16:00.004-04:00

Another one in the books. Good times as always and got to see a bunch of good fuckers I only see about once a year. Despite being violently ill the morning of departure, having a wild ass two car crash happen right in front of us on the way up, and few other delays we made it to Rockingham Thursday afternoon.

Roadside making sure his Knuck is ready for all the hipsters to rub their nuts on it.

Back road wrenching.

Weather was hot, but we got lucky and no real rain all weekend. Glad to see everyone I did, and for those who didn't make it hope to see you sometime soon. I doubt I'll be back at Smoke Out next year, it was fun but it's just not what it used to be. I guess nothing ever is. Enjoy the pics.

Two Wheels Traveling

2011-06-09T13:13:00.002-04:00

Tommy's headed back over for a while so he needed a moto travel fix before he departs. I got the invite to tag along and off we went.
Columbia to Charlotte - Charlotte to Chesapeake, VA - Chesapeake to Lewisburg, WV - Lewisburg to Green Sulphur Springs, WV - back to Columbia. 1200 miles on two wheels Flying Monkeys style. Very liberal disregard for posted speed limits and for the proper use of the 'breakdown' lane. After enough miles, 90+ feels like a reasonable cruising speed.
A great time all around with gracious thanks to Mike & Karel, Big Joe & Rose(and LJ), Chewy & Kim, Tia & Fay and their great parents for putting us up along the way and for putting up with us. Especially Tommy who can be very needy sometimes.

God Hates SC

2011-05-25T12:50:00.003-04:00

So it's forecast to be 101 today in Columbia. WTF? It's late May. Ask any of my riding buddies, me and the heat do not get along. I haven't had much interesting bike work going on lately. I'm finishing up work on my buddy Moe's bike right now, but it's just a damn Road King so I'm not polluting my blog with any pics of it.

This early heat wave only makes me want to head to the Rockies for the summer even more. It's so fucking hot this chick can't even bear to wear pants.

Take It From the Expert

2011-05-17T22:54:00.001-04:00

Many of us could use a healthy dose of Dr. Lajoie's prescription.

The Mountains

2011-05-13T13:49:00.002-04:00

They're awesome.

Moto Philosophy

2011-05-11T10:55:00.003-04:00

"The riders live as gods. At a certain moment they understand that they must go back to the world of man. This is not a punishment because they have transformed man's world into a paradise."

- Dr. Claudio Costa, getting right down to what it's all about.

I don't have the poetic eloquence of Dr. Costa, but it's a simple idea. A motorcycle is so much more than an engine and two wheels.

2011-05-06T23:51:00.000-04:00

Sailing the Seas of Cheese

2011-04-28T11:26:00.003-04:00

If you didn't know better you'd think all we did on the run was ride on ferry boats. I guess it was the best place to get pics of all the bikes together. I post some shots on land when I get some.

You can see my big white head towards the top of the pic and Ed is standing next to me.

At Least I'm the Youngest......

2011-04-26T17:12:00.002-04:00

Well, the sexiest too. As it turns out, the guy on the right is a fuckin' narc too. He asked me at one point if I had any drugs and/or drug paraphernalia he could buy, so we threw him overboard.

Revenge Run is Run

2011-04-25T00:36:00.004-04:00

Rolled my Evo a good 900 miles door to door. A good run and a good time. Riding, wrenching in parking lots and the side of road, cracking stupid jokes with the boys. More pics when I get them. Thanks to Matt and Tim from Death Science for putting the run together.

Volleyball is a Great Sport

2011-04-20T15:55:00.001-04:00

And don't ever say otherwise.

Taking it Easy

2011-04-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

Not giving a fuck.

Hey World, Fuck You!

2011-04-18T18:59:00.000-04:00

That is all.

Out of Focus

2011-04-16T20:50:00.002-04:00

Build your bike exactly how you want it. Take pride in your craftsmanship and work hard to make the reality of the motorcycle match your vision. Above all, don't waste time seeking the approval of anonymous goons on any internet forum and don't follow the trends. We've already got an over abundance of those fags.

Fire and Blood

2011-04-15T21:49:00.003-04:00

Cutting, shaping, and welding metal is dirty business. When you've got to do it, you know enough to concede to how dirty you will get and how much metal dust you're going to inhale. If it was too easy they'd call it golf.

Purpose built exhaust almost completed. The purpose? Go Fast.

I managed to set my shop broom on fire with the plasma cutter while I was making the base plate for my tail section. Not a little on fire either, full on in flames. Out the door and stomp it out, still functional.

Got the rear loop of the tail piece done. It doesn't look like much right now, but it's the most important piece to get done since the rest of the tail section is based on this one strut.

I had a visit from the world famous Roadside Marty as well the other night and was pleased to get the thumbs up on this bike from him. He generously hooked me up with enough parts to put together a fully adjustable sport front fork for the bike, AND he gave me some valuable tips on how to get my bike into all the cool guy magazines. Apparently the main trick is to be very willing to perform oral sex on the male editors of said mags. It's all starting to make sense.

Ruining a Perfectly Good Sporty

2011-04-11T00:16:00.002-04:00

Put the Andrews N8 cams in the Slingshot today. These cams would be the kid that beat up the wimpy kid on the playground, i.e. the weak stock cams. Not drag race radical, but a large improvement over the stockers, especially on a bike this light.

While I had the cam cover off, I was obligated to give it the classic trim job. This was the first one I'd done, mainly because few customers will pay you to permanently disfigure their bike's engine. After a few hours of rough cutting, grinding, filing, sanding and polishing it's looking right.

Frosty Nuts

2011-04-09T23:22:00.004-04:00

It finally got hot enough to cut the AC on for the first time in the house this year. About five minutes later Brick found his favorite floor vent and layed right on top of it. Gotta keep your nuggets cool.

Fire at Will

2011-04-05T20:00:00.002-04:00

Holy chest cannons! The jalopy behind her is pretty slick too.

Revenge Run Ready

2011-04-04T22:57:00.003-04:00

We'll see who's got the stones to show up.

Set to the Rear

2011-04-04T22:44:00.004-04:00

After a trip to the metal shop I finally conquered the shifter side of my rear set foot controls on the Slingshot. So step 1: Get a good sized piece of 1/2" thick aluminum.
Step 2: Using all the knowledge & skill you've obtained from watching every episode of Biker Build-Off 27 times, make a pattern and get your plate bolted to the bike.

Step 3: Drill a mounting hole for the rear set and make sure it lines up with the right side. Trim the excess material, and try to not cut any fingers off.
Lastly, send your roughed out mounting bracket out to be finish shaped and polished. Real big time builders don't do that shit themselves, that's for the little people to do.
I made the tank mounts and got the tank hard mounted on the bike as well, but I've put enough pictures of that up already.

Original Gangstas

2011-04-02T22:54:00.003-04:00

Took a short drive north to take my tank to Jimmy Bortles for petcock relocation. I hadn't seen him for quite awhile and it was good to see he's still building great bikes with his unique style and flawless craftsmanship. Definitely a guy who hasn't gotten enough credit for the level of work he does. Just glad he's still doing it. Of course, he did a great job on my tank, which is why I took it to him to start with. I'll post pics when I get the tank mounted on the bike in the next day or two.

While Jimmy was working on my tank I headed to my very good friend Mike's to see what kind of projects he's got going and enjoy the high level of hospitality he and his wife Karel always put on. Got to meet up with the legendary Dirty Ed for a while as well, so a good time all the way around.

Always does me good to spend some time with guys that get what it's all about.

Sidecar Magnificence

2011-04-01T10:20:00.003-04:00

A bike from the Custom Chrome European show, built by a shop in Italy. Simply beautiful. They used 3000 sheets of titanium leaf on the sheetmetal. The Europeans really know how to go the extra mile with their craftsmanship. Only running a 74ci Flattie, you won't ever go 100mph, but you'll cool as hell cruising the back roads. Great bike.

Pedigree'd Pillow

2011-03-30T20:31:00.002-04:00

Brick, semi-voluntarily acting as my pillow. No good bike posts lately as I've been suffering from intense malaise and a severe case of dontgiveafuckitis. That will change very soon.

Zombie Apocalypse on Deck

2011-03-24T23:17:00.001-04:00

Get your blades sharp and your guns loaded, and leave your Bible at home.

There's No Going Back

2011-03-23T23:47:00.004-04:00

I turned 37 yesterday. I'd like to say I don't feel that old, but I do. So much to do and so much time that's gone by without doing it. Too much time on the couch, too much fucking off. I think back to the first couple rides I took on my buddy Matt's Sportster back in college. As much as I love riding bikes, you just can't recapture that feeling when you first got on a full sized bike and twisted it back. The most worthwhile experiences are the ones you can't ever do over. You get that one first time, and every time after that it's not quite as good. Adult responsibility is very overrated.

My nephew Max in New Zealand. Exhibit A. No matter what any of us does the rest of our lives, we'll never be as happy and carefree as this little boy is in this picture. He doesn't care about money or driving a flash car or any of the other bullshit we get so hung up on as adults. He's just a little kid running across the yard with no pants on. Happy as hell. For me, trying to feel a little bit of that is all that's worth doing anymore.

Via Con Dios

2011-03-23T23:27:00.003-04:00

I sent the KLR on down the road with a new owner yesterday. By far the shortest time I've owned a bike, but it definitely left my hands in much better condition than I got it in. I've got too many bikes as it is, and the proceeds from the sale will contribute to my very comfortable state of unemployment. The clock is ticking to get Satan's Slingshot ready for the Smokeout as well.

Clear Signals

2011-03-23T13:22:00.001-04:00

How do say 'Party Girl' with style? Check the tat on her shoulder.

First Aid

2011-03-19T13:49:00.002-04:00

I've got some annoying cold creeping up on me, so she's helping me feel better.

Back Road Ramblin

2011-03-18T15:22:00.003-04:00

Took about a 100 mile ride around the back roads. Out around part of Lake Wateree and some random wandering through the woods, deftly avoiding unpleasant encounters with any recalcitrant rural individuals.

The KLR by the lake in all it's utilitarian glory

The bleached bones of what I guess was a good sized dog, not too common in the Southeast so I took a picture.

They Don't Do It Like This Anymore........

2011-03-16T21:49:00.003-04:00

Anchors Aweigh

2011-03-12T18:42:00.003-05:00

All those empty wine bottles behind her lead me to believe she may be a lady of loose morals, and that's awesome. This is also the Navy's new recruiting poster.

Daytona

2011-03-12T18:35:00.003-05:00

Went down and back with Tommy and Moe, two top shelf riding partners. I rode right at 1000 miles for the trip in 4 days and it was all good. Multiple brushes with Johnny Law but no casualties. I'll post more later, I'm a little burned.

Phrases used repeatedly:

'Where's your fucking pass!'
'Please ride quietly'
'Brotherhood of the road'
'Yes, I am the owner of this motorcycle'

1-2-3, Go. And..............go.

2011-03-04T22:20:00.003-05:00

I've been lacking on updates. The last week or so has been a bit lackadaisical. Daytona is this week though, and it's WFO for the season from there. Wrench, Ride & Raise Hell. It's not just a slogan.

My Evo way back in '04 before it even had paint on the frame. Still running strong.

The Hypocrisy of Self-Gratitude

2011-02-27T13:35:00.003-05:00

I've let this slide for a while, but it's time to speak up. Since the most recent earthquake in New Zealand it's become impossible to ignore the disgusting hypocrisy of people in this country and the modernized Western nations in general.

When a major earthquake struck Haiti a year or so ago, there was a huge reaction and outpouring of support to 'help'. Every worthless celebrity and average 'slacktavist' couldn't shut up about how important it was to donate money to help Haiti. Money, it's always about money. The reality is, Haiti was a shit hole long before a natural disaster came along, and it will continue to be a shit hole into the distant future. No amount of money is going to change that. Whether it was caused by some pathetic form of white guilt or just some selfish need to feel better about oneself by sending $20 off into the ether just to say, 'I helped'.

Now, two major earthquakes, larger in magnitude than what struck Haiti, occur in the area of Christchurch in the last six months. Where is response from the people of this fucked up country?? It doesn't seem to have the same value to help a small, modernized country as it does a cess pool, third world 'nation'. People in New Zealand are effectively being punished for being industrious, hard working, and actually maintaining building standards that ensure everyone's house doesn't fall over in the first stiff wind to come along. Sorry New Zealand, you don't have your hands out to the rest of the world everytime there's trouble so no one cares about helping you. Where are all the Facebook pages and P Diddy on TV begging everyone to help? No where.

I could write a book about this, but I won't. I simply have faith in what I've seen on my visits to NZ, one of the most beautiful places in this world. Like anywhere else, every person in NZ is not a saint. But what they do have is a majority population of tough, self-reliant people that don't sit around crying with their hands out when times are tough. They get off their asses and do the work that needs to be done to take care of themselves and their country. A work ethic a lot of people here could learn from.

Geometry Gone Wrong

2011-02-24T18:40:00.003-05:00

Made a new headlight set up for the Evo. I robbed the 5 3/4" I had on it for my Sportster and I had recently picked up the two small lights so what the fuck. I liked the way the rectangular lights fall in with the space between the triple trees and the bascially rectangular opening in the Attack bars. Dig it.

Keep It Coming

2011-02-16T21:52:00.004-05:00

Good progress on the Slingshot today. This bike is going to be great.

The front end is squared away: Bars/risers mounted, Fab Kevin front brake setup mounted and the brake bled, custom throttle setup, and headlight mounted.

Custom rearsets, brake side done.

They Can't All Be Gems

2011-02-16T21:40:00.003-05:00

This is what the inside of a fucked up Triumph engine looks like. I pulled the head off the other day and it wasn't good. There was actually quite a bit more dirt/rust/whatever in the cylinders but I got most of it out before I took the pic. Oh well, this one's pretty much a boat anchor, but I can still tear the rest of the motor down and learn a few things about how it's put together.

Perception is Reality

2011-02-13T17:32:00.003-05:00

If you didn't know better, you'd think we were discussing something very technical. In reality, Tommy is describing how much air he caught off of one of the huge rocks in the 'road' out of the campground in Arkansas on last year's Long Road.

Sunday and Things are Alright

2011-02-13T17:28:00.001-05:00

Jam Packed like a Hooker on 2 for 1 Friday

2011-02-11T00:10:00.002-05:00

The shop is full. Concentrated efforts to start clearing out some space are underway. Simplify.

I love mirrors

2011-02-10T15:42:00.001-05:00

The Tale of Southern Dicks Penetrating South Texas

2011-02-08T13:53:00.003-05:00

One week and a good 2500 miles divided into two 20 hour, straight through truck rides, and Jimmy, Tommy, and I made it back from San Antonio more or less unscathed. We got to spend some good times with our favorite Texan Chris Nelson and enjoy his unique brand of laid back hospitality. We also 'enjoyed' a rare winter storm and some of the coldest weather in South Texas history.

Chris' 60's era aluminum bodied hot rod bread truck. Built big block and a level of awesomeness that few four wheeled vehicles can compare to.

Me at the wheel of the Bread Truck from Hell, just to my right is the beastly engine that sends this fucker down the road 3 times faster than it was ever meant to go.

The four of us basking in the glow of having just finished bringing Tommy's bike back up to code and ready for another summer of heavy miles.

We made a couple trips to Austin and had the chance to hang out with Bacon, the original Canadian Kid. He just recently moved to Austin to further his work as the best up and coming vintage motor builder around. We got to check out his top secret shop in it's embryonic stage and things are looking good for him. As long he doesn't fall in with the skinny jeans wearing hipsters that seem to populate Austin he'll be good. Otherwise we'll just ride back down there and beat some sense into him. We're really doing it!

Despite me being sick as a dirty monkey for a good bit of the trip, it was a good time with some good friends. We got to meet a couple Texas cops, ate some great cheap Mexican food, and took a tour of some of the sketchiest gas stations between SC and South Tejas. Trust me Bro!

Living in the Quaker States of America

2011-02-08T13:40:00.003-05:00

Stolen from the Horse blog. Apparently since the magazine is carried in Wal-Mart, they can't show a chick's ass in a thong. Sieg Heil Der Wal-Mart!! Fight the power with me by enjoying all that this young lady has to offer.

What do you do in the middle of Winter?

2011-01-25T22:07:00.002-05:00

Think about having fun in the Summer. I know what you're thinking, 'Damn, Valentino Rossi is ruling on that mini bike!'. Actually, it's me in last year's SO mini bike race. You know everyone is ready for warmer riding weather when the last several phone conversations I've had with guys have been about Daytona, the Revenge Run, the Long Road and the Smokeout.

Jimmy's Rollin!

2011-01-22T20:30:00.002-05:00

Rode up to NC with Jimmy today and lo and behold there was a bike in the back of the truck on the return trip. He's now the proud owner of a sweet 93 FXR. He's still got a way to go before he can get on the road, but it's coming soon.

Cheater!

2011-01-19T21:37:00.002-05:00

I don't think she's a natural blonde, and that's just dishonest.

Triumph & Tragedy

2011-01-15T21:48:00.002-05:00

The basic layout of Long Road 2011 has been revealed. It's an easy 800 or so miles this year, about half what it was in 2010 so no excuses for punking out. Make plans now as this ride is becoming a great addition to the Smokeout experience. There will be thrills and spills, unlimited free body odor, and you can watch Roadside hit on skanks in every town along the route!

Practical Mathematics

2011-01-11T18:27:00.003-05:00

Bikes = Good

Hot Chicks = Good

Therefore: Hot Chicks + Bikes = 2x Good

Go to college and you too can learn how math does in fact apply to the real world.

PS I hope my CB550 looks half as slick as this one when I finish it.

Goddam Yes

2011-01-11T17:59:00.002-05:00

Something to keep you warm on these cold winter nights. I'll have some pics of my Sportster project up soon as I finally stopped fucking around and started making progress on it. Late April is a lot closer than it seems and Satan's Slingshot is going on the Revenge Run for sure.